It seems time to share some of my perceptions and understanding of my journey in life with and through deep trauma. I want to start where my trek began. I hope my writings will help others through their own journey and perhaps give some understanding to those who know someone that is walking a similar traumatized path. It can be hard for survivors to talk about and explain what is going on within; plus so many times they can fear they will suffer the more for trying to explain to someone else. There can be great fear, confusion, shame, even doubt if this is even real, feeling lost, isolated, and so much more…
…I am reminded of when I was young; my grandmother faced cancer. At that time people who heard someone had cancer were so afraid of what to say or do, out of fear of what the word meant and what it entailed, along with confusion, anger, and denial for starters. They were even afraid they would catch it
They did not mean to, but the silence of others or their wrong well-meaning words made it much worse for her and others like her. They were facing the shocking, hopeless diagnosis with its long, slow, painful death sentence, made worse by procedures or medicines of the time and needed caring friendship and encouragement. The fear and lack of understanding of what the cancer patients were walking through, plus the family members’ or friends’ own emotions of the shock concerning their loved one, broke down communication and relationships when both parties really needed each other. They were lost in shock and fear as their whole world began to change. Who could understand the confusion of all their emotions and their internal sense of isolation? As with cancer patients back then, trauma survivors and their family or friends can be in so many different emotions with so many questions that need answering.
I must pause here and say that I can only share from my experience. Even though a diagnosis is given to a wounded traumatized person like PTSD, Dissociative Disorder, or whatever it is, though the defining symptoms in the medical information are the same; this is not a “cookie-cutter” path for those recovering. Just as people, in general, have different personalities and experiences, so is our journey, our path through to our healing. There are basic symptoms defining the diagnosis, but there can still be so many variables in the causes and the daily experiences in the journey of each person.
Connecting with others who are on their path can still be beneficial for encouragement, new understandings, and the reminder that someone else really does have a clue what this can be like. It can be so freeing to talk with another who can relate and accept us for who we are, a person in this life with challenges to face just like everyone else. People desire and can even need someone they can trust and be real with. Our history has left us with deep-seated invisible inner wounds and scars that we need time and help to heal from. It is not an easy path for many, so having some caring, patient, faithful people in life who want to try to understand can be huge.